09 September 2011

Wedding Guest Post: On Love and Marriage by Lady of the Arts

Hello Lather. Write. Repeat. readers! I'm Ren and I blog over at  Lady of the Arts.  I'm excited to be guest posting while Lenore is away getting hitched - congrats Lenore!

On Love

My husband and I have been married for eleven years
We got married in a tacky wedding chapel in Las Vegas
In fact that was our criteria- 
We rented a limo and had the driver take us around to the tackiest wedding chapels in town
We chose the one with the white picket fence, astroturf and steeple
It was just the two of us

We are not romantic 
We don't celebrate Valentines Day or buy each other birthday or hanukkah gifts 
If he leaves for work, before I wake up, he leaves me a note and makes coffee.  
When we lived in Detroit he would fill my car up with gas in the winter.
Now in the dessert he fills my car up for me in the summer.
If I forget to bring a glass of water upstairs before bed, he'll get me one.
He says yes to anything I want
When I'm the worst- he tells me I'm the best.

We had a short courtship- less than a year before we were married. 
When we found each other is was bashert
We didn't wait, we didn't take time to figure it out- we were just grateful to have found each other. 
We have a lifetime to figure it out.

According to Jewish writings before a male child is born, a 'voice from heaven' announces who he will marry- bashert means 'it is meant to be'- fate or destiny. 
The word bashert can be used to refer to any kind of fortuitous good match, such as finding the perfect job or the perfect house, but it is usually used to refer to one's soul mate.
Dr. J is my bashert and I am his.

This poem is a favorite of ours:

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Have a lovely day everyone and stop by and say hello over at Lady of the Arts!



  1. This is such a sweet post! I'm so happy you found your bashert! And also happy you shared this beautiful concept with us!

  2. Thanks for having me L- look forward to hearing about your wedding.

  3. lovely post. i am reading The Prophet and i love his words : )

  4. This is a very beautiful Post. One can feel how heart felt it is too.
    You might have been married in a tacky chapel but if you get coffee ready made in the mornings your marriage couldn't possible be more glamorous :-)

  5. Tacky Vegas wedding sounds awesome... how I wish some of my married friends had gotten married that way! :D

    I haven't read many works of Kahlil Gibran, but the little exploration I've done online, I've found that I really enjoy his way of thinking. Thanks for sharing that poem!

    Arnab Majumdar

  6. Really nice post !!! Thank you for sharing prophet with us :)

  7. I <3 this post:)) I'm not romantic either;)
    hugs Ren


Thanks so much for stopping by, I love reading all your comments! If you have a specific question, please email me at lhume1@mts.net. XO Lenore