I'm starting to think that my over-achieving self directly conflicts with being happy.
Sure, she was cute when I was 5 and wanted to walk to school by myself.
She was encouraged when I studied like mad to make honour role in high school.
She was impressive when I worked multiple jobs to pay for the books I wanted, the designer jeans I needed and the used car I wanted to drive.
She has her place - that driving need to be better.
But today she stands in the way of living in the moment. Loving what I have. Accepting that all is not perfect.
So I'm having a little chat with my over-achieving self. I'm telling her to back off. To be a little more selective when she comes to visit.
She's not welcome in my relationship. She's not welcome when I'm feeling vulnerable, or my self-esteem is low. She is not to compare me to others or make me feel bad about my shortcomings.
She can gladly show up when I am on a tight deadline or learning something new. I will always push myself. But we're going to be acquaintances from now on, rather than BFF's.
Because I want to be happy as I am. I will always be driven, but maybe now I can learn to be a little more accepting.
Which part of your inner self is keeping you from moving forward? What are you going to tell her?
Written with love,
Lenore
I hope it works out- I need to forgive myself more- for the things I say/don't say do and don't do.
ReplyDeletesuch a good post, something we all need to think about =)
ReplyDeletei dig your honesty, lenore. i've been thinking about similar things recently, about actually accomplishing the things on my goal list, about conquering doubt + fear. it's a complicated thing, but i think it's the "comfortable me", the one that likes safety nets + the familiar that holds me back sometimes. i need to work on that.
ReplyDelete:)
xo Alison
do try to keep up! you can always pop in and out if you want :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post Lenore. You are so self aware and honest, how refreshing. I also need to work on being happier and to stop seeing the negative. The world won't stop moving because I have dirty laundry, I'm not a bad wife when my family has to eat a frozen dinner...I need to chill out and just enjoy the small moments and be thankful for what I have.
ReplyDeleteOh Lenore. This is exactly my personal struggle and journey. You should check out the meditation book I mentioned on my blog today. I was totally against it, but all the little dashes of wisdom have really helped me live more in the moment.
ReplyDeleteI just want to take a moment and let you guys know how much your comments meant to me - especially on this post. Thanks for helping me keep my chin up!
ReplyDeleteXO
Lenore
My inner self is an insecure, 14 year old who craves acceptance. She only comes out when it is inappropriate and my boyfriend thinks she is crazy. She's trying though... and that's all that matters. No one is perfect. love.
ReplyDelete