Friends are pretty wonderful.
I appreciate them more as I get older. I also realize now how precious they are. That friendships may have been easy to start, but they are not always easy to keep. Especially as everyone gets older, moves away, creates their own little families and even makes changes in themselves.
I have acquired some amazing friends. I've also been in the unfortunate position of losing friends. Whether due to a falling out or simply drifting away, it's always very painful.
But it's forced me to take a long hard look at myself and figure out my part in it all. I really do think it all comes down to judgement. If a friend doesn't call or write, I've often thought they didn't care. Then I turned around and did the exact same thing myself. Life gets in the way and it's nobody's fault. I don't care about them any less because I'm busy. And they don't care any less about me.
But bad feelings can build if you let them run away on themselves. The past is the past. We all make mistakes. So I've resolved to try my hardest at 'no judgement'. We'll talk when we can talk. We'll get together when we can get together. And we'll be there for each other when things go sideways, no matter what.
Now that I'm in a fairly new city (2.5 years), I've been forced to go back to the playground and make friends again. Not the easiest thing at 33. But I think I have a lot to offer. I'll do better each time I take a kick at the can. And I've had some great opportunities to meet new people.
The rest is up to me. Without judgement.
Written with love,
Lenore
Dear Lenore,
ReplyDeleteYour post about "No Judgement" was heartfelt and very courageous. Living with 'No Judgement' is just about one of the hardest things to do on this Planet in my humble estimation.
When we judge others, we really 'judge' ourselves, and it comes back to haunt us in one way or another I find. It's about forgiveness and letting go of the past because really we are not our past. Each day we wake up gives us another opportunity to do better, to be better and to love better.
If we can give ourselves permission to do that and then extend the same privilege to our friends and family then we live with a little more light and a little more freedom and a whole lot more love in our hearts, if that makes any sense.
With love,
Laura
Well said! I totally agree - it's so hard but can bring so much peace. One day at a time...
ReplyDeleteWow, great post. Very true, I find that it is the long time firends who don't judge you. That is why they are your friend. I try to get together with my closest girlfriends (all of us together) at least once a month. We just like a night of catching up and enjoying each others company. Through things like Splurge it has been great to meet new people (like you) and develop a friendship. And then there are those people who you see once in a while and are great friends, but busy lives keep them away. I love getting together with these people because it is a guaranteed great time. I have this gret friend Raena that I used to work with. She is at a different school now, but when we get together it is always fun times. Yay for friends! I think at this age it is just nice to get together with all of these people, no judgements, just friends and good times.
ReplyDelete