17 April 2010

No Judgement Part 2

Thanks for all the great comments, both private and public.  Of course, as soon as I finished the original post I had a million other thoughts in my head swirling around.  It really got me thinking even deeper and everything you added to the conversation just added fuel to the fire.

Although it's great to work on no judgement, a friendship is still a living, growing thing that needs to be nurtured.  It's just that every friendship probably requires being nurtured in different ways.

Here's some other things I plan to do to be a better friend.

Acknowledge my part in keeping the friendship alive - I once read that in order to have friends, you have to be a friend.  I'm guilty of reading my friend's Facebook statuses or browsing through their pictures without commenting.  I feel connected with them when they reach out to me, so I have to do the same.  If the phone doesn't ring for a while, I will just pick it up myself.  Everyone loves to get a call from a friend, right?  Who cares who called last.  What are you doing to build your friendships?

Enjoy each friend for who they are - I have friends I love to shop with, get manicures with, and talk about work.  And I have friends who I pour my heart out to the minute I see them.  They're equally important in my life.  I have friends I talk to every week or so.  And I have friends I only see once or twice a year.  They're equally important in my life.  When I moved to Winnipeg and all my friends were scattered across the country, I worried we would drift apart.  I realize now that only happens if you let it.  Think about each of your friends.  Cherish that special thing you love about them and only them.  The friend that makes you laugh is just as important as the one you always call when you want to cry...

Give a little  - I don't love shopping with other people.  But my friend does.  I'm going to just go.  I hate talking on the phone on Sunday nights, but that's when my friend always calls.  I'm going to suck it up.  My friend lives on the other side of town.  I'm going to offer to make the drive more.  What goes around, comes around in the long run.

Share more of myself but also listen more - Sometimes you have to be first to share, in order to open the floodgates to a deeper friendship.  I'm a pretty internal person (hence the blog), and I sometimes feel like i have trouble connecting with people.  But I've discovered they can feel the same way.  So if I'm finding things are a bit ackward, I'm going to share more.  Go beyond the surface.  Then in turn, I'm going to listen more.  And get to know them even better.  Because you truly do have to give - in order to get.

What are you doing to be a better friend?

Written with love,

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Thanks so much for stopping by, I love reading all your comments! If you have a specific question, please email me at lhume1@mts.net. XO Lenore